Use the Buddy System!

So I was reading through the owner's manuals for our new swimming pool (above ground, 18', in case you were about to ask) & it referred me to the Filter-Pump manual...okay, I get it, read that & then continue on. I read through until I came to the page w/the sign in the landscape direction that said "post this warning near your pool." Made sense to me until I read it:

DANGER -- NO DIVING OR JUMPING -- SHALLOW WATER
DIVING MAY RESULT IN PERMANENT INJURY OR DEATH

• Be Safe. Swim with a friend. (I'm not kidding, capital S on safe!!!)
• Children must be accompanied by an adult. (Really? Common sense is apparently hard to come by these days!)
• Don't swim when using alcohol or drugs. (Okay, if you're dumb enough to be on drugs/drinking near water & not know the consequences, then maybe you deserve whatever happens to you?!)
• Be familiar with the pool before swimming. (It's an 18' ROUND pool ABOVE GROUND!!! How much more familiar do you want us to be?!?!?!)
• No running, jumping, or horseplay in or around pool. (There goes my exercise regime & the whole point for getting the pool!)
• No glass in pool area. (Alright, if you think that I'm going to bring a glass into the pool, that's one thing, but keeping glass out of the backyard, doubtful!)

TO AVOID SERIOUS INJURY ALL POOL USERS MUST KNOW AND FOLLOW THESE SAFETY RULES. (Doesn't that defeat the point of rule numbers 1 & 2?!)

And in big letters on the bottom of the page:

SAVE THESE INSTRUCTIONS.

The writers of this manual obviously don't know me...DUH!!! I don't tend to throw anything remotely important away. I won't be keeping it for this sign, though! haha Does anyone post these things anyway? And what water level is considered DEEP? If I'd never thought of diving into a shallow pool as a great suicide option, I know it now...NOT that I'd consider it, my brain just kind of flows in that direction sometimes...but I'd never go through with it. So my question now is this: How in the world do I work the goofy Filter-Pump?!

Just read: Additional safeguards - Learn to swim. Nuff' said.